New low: just hacked my moms facebook
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
