I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
People with herpes should wear stickers.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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