did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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