? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
