The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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