My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
