i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
