I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
