There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
