what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
