out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
