i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
