you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
