Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
not ubering you a puppy
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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