Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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