i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He literally asked permission to hit on me
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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