I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
