I looked at my own cervix.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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