he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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