is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
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