i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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