i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
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Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
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So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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