He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
