dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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