sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
