super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
