He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
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Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
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I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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