Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
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