We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
zippers are such a cool invention
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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