So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
