Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
