I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
