I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
