Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
