Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
