I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
