paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
