He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
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You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
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She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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