the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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