pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
