You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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