You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
