yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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