Kiss
Puke
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
All I want is dick and wine.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
