Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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