dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
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