doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
