could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
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Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
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i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.