Texts From Last Night

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  (805): View more from California

  at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.

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  (805): at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle. http://tfl.nu/34ph
  Replies (64) Good night (1199) Bad night (3180)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  ..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..

  (1-908): View more from New Jersey

  yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...

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  (908): ..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family.. (1-908): yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now... http://tfl.nu/humh
  Replies (8) Good night (833) Bad night (1443)
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  (714): View more from California

  He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher

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  (714): He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher http://tfl.nu/npc9
  Replies (21) Good night (1192) Bad night (6554)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.

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  (623): Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy. http://tfl.nu/cg4z
  Replies (60) Good night (2338) Bad night (5164)
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  (707): View more from California

  its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me

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  (707): its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me http://tfl.nu/kg6n
  Replies (11) Good night (1907) Bad night (3353)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  we're making bets on your personal life

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  (603): we're making bets on your personal life http://tfl.nu/b50k
  Replies (14) Good night (4135) Bad night (1220)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.

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  (618): Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly. http://tfl.nu/ma4l
  Replies (2) Good night (2126) Bad night (2122)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.

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  (740): This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod. http://tfl.nu/pyaj
  Replies (9) Good night (1893) Bad night (678)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"

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  (402): He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by" http://tfl.nu/24bz
  Replies (14) Good night (503) Bad night (2209)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog

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  (775): I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog http://tfl.nu/px0v
  Replies (2) Good night (637) Bad night (493)
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  (951): View more from California

  Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.

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  (951): Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation. http://tfl.nu/t4hm
  Replies (4) Good night (1220) Bad night (515)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.

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  (615): I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY. http://tfl.nu/j30c
  Replies (2) Good night (875) Bad night (341)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes

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  (864): I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes http://tfl.nu/i59t
  Replies (0) Good night (517) Bad night (294)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Why is there a cash register on top of my car?

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  (215): Why is there a cash register on top of my car? http://tfl.nu/nfm6
  Replies (1) Good night (531) Bad night (298)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"

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  (618): Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin" http://tfl.nu/b2j2
  Replies (1) Good night (630) Bad night (350)

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