I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
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