Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
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So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
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It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
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