would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Randomize
