i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
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