is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
