Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
