I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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