I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
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