It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
