My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I have aggressive nipples.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
