Dual....:-)
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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