so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
