Don't you send me to vm
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize