What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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