this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
my being single is dangerous.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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