i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
