Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(810): View more from Michigan

I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.

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(248): View more from Michigan

ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.

(1-248): View more from Michigan

for doing what?

(248): View more from Michigan

for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.

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(207): View more from Maine

i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.

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(360): View more from Washington

my secret santa just gave me a pregency test

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(740): View more from Ohio

i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.

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(512): View more from Texas

I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.

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(720): View more from Colorado

I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.

(1-720): View more from Colorado

You sound pretty unsure about all of this.

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak

(603): View more from New Hampshire

my vagina doesn't wear a watch

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(253): View more from Washington

I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?

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