that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
