look no pants
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
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