how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
