Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Randomize
