I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
