This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
