i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
