if i can run in heels then i can drive
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
